How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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