So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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