that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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