I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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