Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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