If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
