It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
