very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Say something about gay babies.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
