How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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