Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
