I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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