How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
