all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
