I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
