I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
