So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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