haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
