fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
we should paint friendship bongs
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