why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Randomize
