The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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