he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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