cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize