my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize