Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
