Duck Duck Cougar?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
