Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
