There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize