"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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