Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
