the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
