Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
