it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
