my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
