So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
