I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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