I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
