i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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