we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
