About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
