Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
