love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
