If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Randomize
