The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
