The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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