Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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