There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
