he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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