i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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