I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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