I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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