I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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