this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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