i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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