I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
