That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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