Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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