people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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