This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
