So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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